Fireworks and Freedom

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The first connection with an individual after a prolonged disconnect is like a fireworks display on the Fourth of July.  It brightens a dark place, in a wonderfully spectacular way.  It captures your attention and beckons you to concentrate, because you just might miss that next big burst of fabulousness...

I recently ended a long term relationship with someone I care about deeply. He was my best friend, my confidante, my lover, and my hang buddy!  The sudden disconnect that occurred shortly after the break, was comparable to being handed a million dollars after living on minimum wage for years.  What does one do with it?  How does one spend it?  How can one become responsible with this newly established financial freedom.

Freedom. 

FREEdom!

FREEDOM!!

Freedom sounds extremely sexy in a bad relationship, enticingly grand in a horrible marriage, and tantalizing simple to the single woman or man looking to have "fun."

Towards the end of my relationship, I thought having freedom would be a seductive force that drove me to experience that which I had been missing.  I conjured up images of going to nightclubs in my freakum dress, sipping apple martinis at the hottest lounge, testing my Washington Post IQ at DC networking events, and enjoying peace and quiet at home on my couch with pint of pineapple sorbet.

After the break-up, however, I found myself with a heightened awareness of self.  I had all this time, all this silence, all these thoughts, and every thing, every instance, every circumstance reminded me of the ex. 

I had loved him for four years, but he was ready to walk away.

So, I had to let him go....or take the Jasmine Sullivan approach and bust some windows out his car!!!

Lucky for my ex I have a reputation to protect....


My experience with A Long Walk - for me - was like a Fourth of July fireworks display.   Our outing at Lauriol Plaza was a peep into what could be; it was a beautiful connection that eliminated the depressing thoughts of being disconnected from my ex.

So as I watched A Long Walk's number flash on my caller ID, afraid to look eager by answering, but anxious to hear why he had not called,  I realized I had high expectations for a man that I had just met but didn't really know.

I had allowed A Long Walk to enter into a space of intimacy that should have been reserved for someone that made it beyond just a first date.

He should have called if he had an interest....

...BUT his not calling should not have made a difference in the daily function of my life.

Like a fireworks show, he was a beautiful and transient experience.  Fabulous for a space in time, but not meant to last forever. 

I let the phone ring to voicemail.

Dating in DC continues with Basketball and Baldheaded Men...make sure to leave your mark and post a comment!


And...watch for a new post every Wednesday....