Problem was.
It was the late 90's, the film - Coming to America - was already ol' school, and the style required a 1/2 gallon of activator juice - daily! For one full year, I heard every Soul Glow joke EVER created, so you can imagine my excitement when my mom finally ordered my hair on a weave time out (which is the corner bad hair hairstyles go to get a better attitude)!
I still remember the 2 pounds of hair my mom bought, and how cute I felt after I swung 100% "glued-in" human hair over my shoulder. It was like hair cuticle crack - and the only thing that could top this addiction was the fact that I found a woman to put it all in for $20.00!
Since then, I've quit my weave-wearing addiction cold turkey...BUT.....I still have memories of how my $20 hair weave - RIP - made me feel comfortable, confident, powerful and pretty!
No other experience compared to it....UNTIL...I met a guy who took 45 minutes to take me on a trip that should have only taken two (minutes, that is). What this dude had, besides not enough money to get a GPS, was good conversation....and I liked it, which consequently made me like him....
Well...
Kinda.
I barely knew him.
I was - however - completely enamored by his words...
During our ride, he expressed himself to me in poetic form, challenging me to follow his flow as he encompassed me via a haze of non-sexual seductive adverbs, adjectives, nouns, and ACTION verbs....tempting the "good girl" in me to think very bad thoughts...about him!
And yet...none of his communications were of the post-coital (read: rated X) variety!
And he didn't just speak to me, because any loquacious (google it!) man can make silence look golden! Just like any man can sign you up as a standby to a lone game of 20 questions (all about him), AND attempt to make his life seem more interesting than the Idris Elba's underoos scene in Takers (keyword: attempt).
This guy - however - was of a different variety. He used his words as a deliberate, dialogue-inducing form of communication!
He couldn't have known this, but...ladies...his conversation was better than my ol' school $20 hair weave!
Well kinda...
At the very least, his conversation made me feel comfortable, confident, powerful and pretty. At the very most, I didn't have to drop two tens and cover my head every time a strong wind blew!
When we finally reached our destination, Sir Lo (for loquacious - google it!) leaned over - the soft, masculine scent of Armani Black permeating the small space between us - and said:
"I'm gonna make you like me."
And maybe he was right...
Well...
Kinda...
I barely knew him.
But he could have had a point.
If bad conversation could make one strongly dislike an individual, what were the possible side effects of a good conversation? Was good conversation the starting point of something....well, something good?
I didn't know for sure, but that was okay....because life is not a Facebook Status Update, I can't just like someone every 13 seconds...
His words - though - I was mesmerized by every 12 seconds into a 45 minute ride that should have taken only two (minutes, that is!)
Posts
Good conversation is always the start of something good in my opinion. However, there are many great communicators out there, and although I appreciate nice words, actions that reflect those words are golden!
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. In my opinion good conversation could be the start of something good and does speak to the individuals personality. At the same time a great personality and great conversationalist could have a skewed view relationship roles. I've met plenty of women that have great personalities and hold a great conversation, but those women didn't have any other dimensions to themselves, and honestly you don't want to be with someone that has everything in common with you because you both don't get the opportunity to grow and experience new things together.
ReplyDeleteNice post! always refreshing to read and esp. good when things end on a positive not.
ReplyDeleteIs this an end to a LONG string of horrible dates? congrats!
There are a billion reason to NOT like someone... the above commenters pointed some out.. thanks for telling us, even if just for today, reasons TO like someone and being comfortable doing so.
SN: Do women like it when the guy says "I'm going to make you like me?" Maybe only when he's attractive eh?
Thoughts?
Key question (because we're all aware of what kind of times we live in now): was this conversation face to face and verbal or electronic - text or email/or both? It is important to distinguish what is termed a "good conversation" vs. someone who is simply a good social networker in cyberspace or with no face to face combat...I meant contact. :) A meaningful conversation has a little bit of both mixed in - taking the good with the bad. I tend to repel against the "all or nothing" because it is not practical...nobody is one thing, one way, or truly one dimensional. Often it takes looking beyond that initial flaw, communication could be one but I would see it as a good thing if he could admit his weakness so it can improve...maybe with time. On the other hand, single lady seems to be a great communicator...balance/weigh the possibilities...especially if he makes u feel anything like "the idris elba boxers scene in Takers." OMGosh...still have goosebumps from that manly walk...ALL man, gimme. LOL!
ReplyDeleteTo get to the point of the post...I DON'T LIKE MACDADDIES, PIMPS, BLOOD SUCKERS, OR SKILLED SMOOTH TALKERS. If I can't find a flaw, it means he's not admitting which is a potential problem I could find out l8tr. I tend to run in the opposite direction or play (for a short while) with such conversationalist since it always seems to be some kind of game anyway. Good conversations are only "good" with above honorable intentions. That's where my head is at..
@King James...answer: no, as a woman I feel that I have heard it enough to kno what that means. It is just another tactic. At the least, I'm wary when a man says "I'm going to make u like me" or "love me" (depending on the age and experience), he usually wants a naive response that is aligned with his true intents and motives which can usually be foretold in his actions. Both Neal and Ashley made great points. Good post chica!
ReplyDeleteAlso, if the man is unattractive or more importantly appears (through his actions) to have low self esteem, I would probably take him seriously, rather than say "I like it"..although, it is unlikely that I would date him seriously or exclusively. That's just me. :) with good intentons, we could work as (good friends) to help build a healthy self esteem for his survival.
ReplyDeleteWhat is really better than a $20 Weave especially if it's done right and no one can tell it's a weave because a good weave is hard to find!! Great read, the intro kept me laughing! Glad to see that Single Lady has maybe found someone that can keep her interest and has great conversation. I look forward to see where this goes!! Make sure all of his words turn into actions!!
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