Hi! My name is Breeanne (that's one word).
I am 20 (something)
I am from Chicago (the Southside)
I am a journalist (for a really boring periodical...so...)
I like reading on my free time (really girly, ridiculously romantic, novels) ...AND...
I like cupcakes (from Georgetown Cupcakes MINUS the long line).
These are all the details that I share on my Facebook, Twitter and used to share on my Myspace page when folks still logged on religiously 25 years ago. I also share these details with random men that ask me "what yo name is," with potential contacts at networking events, and during the 7 minute wait for the metro train.
These details are my Beyonce, before I introduce a man to my Sasha Fierce! They represent a small snapshot of me, a small innocent pile of meaningless facts that allow a person get to know my representative! And, trust me, everyone in the District of Columbia (and any major city or small town) has a representative!
On this day while having ice cream with Big Chocolate (my blind date from two weeks ago), I was slowly revealing a few unknowns about myself like: where I got my new pair of shoes for 75% off, my six week fast from red meat, and how I preferred granny panties over boy shorts! The latter was totally inappropriate (I know!) but hey...in the interest of revealing the unknown....
Satisfied with my reveal, I mentally brushed off my shoulder, popped my proverbial collar...and dared Big Chocolate to show me the man behind his representative.
Well, "mama" he said....
I am 29. (good!)
I am from Atlanta (getting better, I love a Southern boy!)
I am in school working on my Bachelors (awesome!)
I am gainfully employed! (YES! YES! YES! Where's Oprah's couch when you need to jump on it!)
And...I'm getting started in my rap career. I got a hot new track coming out this summer.
I hesitated....
For one second....
An aspiring rapper?....at 29?....
Now, I am not one of those chicks that hates rap! In fact, I love rap. On any given day, you could find me bumping Kanye's "Diamond Are Forever" or Lil' Wayne's "Mrs. Officer," on my ipod Nano and on super high volume. If it was a good day, you might even catch me stop and do a little booty pump in time with the beat.
But...ummm...dating a rapper...I wasn't sure. I mean, didn't Lil' Wayne just get three women pregnant at the same time, and didn't Jay-Z secretly (keyword: secretly) date Beyonce for like 12 years...I am no man's (I repeat...NO MAN'S) baby mama or badly kept secret...
Maybe I could do this date-a-young-geezy thing, though. After all, there was Pharell (the cutest, classiest nerd ever), and Common who wrote that love song/rap for Erykah Badu!
So...I inquired....
"Tell me about this new single."
"Mama! This joint is going to be hot in streets." He pronounced streets with a "z." Then he promptly pulled out his I-phone and googled YouTube...
I was hopeful...
"BAM! There you go!" He said slamming his "youtube" video in front of me.
A track started playing. The beat was hardcore, had a little base, and the drums were making my foot tap just a little bit....
Then...I heard the lyrics....
"Shawty got a big, juicy booty...got a big, round booty....got a big, juicy booty....got booty booty booty for days!"
Ummm.....
"Shawty got a big, juicy booty...got a big, round booty....got a big, juicy booty....got booty booty booty for days!"
I tried to look impressed. I mean I really tried.
But then he got up from his chair and started rapping an impromptu verse...something about booty shapes and butt cracks....and then after two (excruciatingly) long minutes, and nineteen (ridiculously) long seconds...the track ended!
THANK GAWD...there was a Jesus...somewhere....
"The name of the track is "Juicy Booty," mama." Big Chocolate said. "I figure if I could get the strip joints to bump this then play it at a few college parties, the radio stations may pick it up,"
I wasn't convinced. Not because he didn't sound incredible sexy while rapping, because he did...but I guess I just wasn't into the whole booty rap thing. In all fairness, this was probably because I didn't have J-Lo's ass, but if I had to keep it all the way 100....it had more to do with my one visit to see a stripper that had resulted in the dancer farting in my lap (true story!)...I mean, how could I support a future boyfriend if I had been scarred for life by a stripper's wayward flatulence.
YES...Big Chocolate and I moved past answering the top TWO most annoying questions in DC...."where are you from"....AND..."what do you do"...
BUT....
I was NOT a fan of booty songs...but who knows...he might NOT have been a fan of 20 (somethings) in granny panties....
He and I had to decide if we liked the person behind our representatives...
Either way, I knew I could add another detail to my "getting to know me" list:
Hi! My name is Breeanne (that's one word).
I am 20 (something)
I am from Chicago (the Southside)
I am a journalist (for a really boring periodical...so...)
I like reading on my free time (really girly, ridiculously romantic, novels)
I like cupcakes (from Georgetown Cupcakes MINUS the line)....AND...
I am not a fan of booty songs (...and no, I can't turnaround so you can see why)
Follow Single Lady in DC .... http://tinyurl.com/datingindc
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Is "Big Chocolate" the relative of someone of 2 Live Crew? I thought not, only then could I understand why he thought "big booty" songs were still selling. Although I'll admit the idea of being someone in public and someone else behind closed doors is not very becoming. I understand the idea behind not wanting to show someone your whole "representative" self initially, but honesty is the best policy. Be true to yourself, and then you can be true to others.
ReplyDeleteLove this blog, it kept me laughing! Aspiring rapper over 27, I meant one of those, it didn't work LOL. Keep writing, I look forward to the next blog.
ReplyDeleteI had an experience that was similar. My X fiance was an aspiring rapper but he actually had a real job as an Electrician - aspiring Foreman at the time. He was actually really good (West Coast rap good) and I thought if he could stay consistent, he could be a STAR. He had the uncanny ability to be both mainstream and underground -- something Jay Z does flawlessly I might add. He is actually the reason why I know so much about Hip Hop as a movement now. However, he is an X for a reason...rap was not the reason. Often, those relationships are appealing at around 18 or 19 -- I was 19 and I didn't think it was appealing at the time, especially because he was like 8 years older than me. Conclusively, I wouldn't recommend it! My situation was not the norm...most aspiring rappers are dilusional. The ONLY reason why I continued to explore a relationship with him despite this dream was because of his other four jobs -- Electrician, Cooking Entrepreneur, Dedicated Father, and almost Excellent boyfriend. He was a Scorpion and the other side of his personality I can disclose in another comment for another day. lol This entry took me back! Thnx.
ReplyDeleteLOL well to be honest, I think that is a sound marketing strategy for that join! I am all over it if he needs a manager lol...
ReplyDeleteGood post. But a question - do you think his desire to be a rapper defines something about his character? Does the profession speak to the person? What if he was none of those things Lil Wayne and Jay-Z were. He was all Common, although he liked rapping about booties. Do you believe rapping could be something he does but not who he is? And does his being a rapper-to-be change your perception of the "representative" he put before you?
Aspiring rapper is one thing...aspiring rapper who wants his song to debut in a strip club is in a whole other category! It doesn't sound appealing at all...lol
ReplyDeleteWell, I look at it like this: I understand there are a lot of men who misrepresent themselves when they first meet a woman, in the first few weeks/months/years of the relationship, but that give you NO excuse to do the same. You lie, you can get lied to. I have no reason to lie to any woman about who I am or what I'm about, and if you're a chick who does that, then keep it movin'. PERIOD
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed this post! Everyone has a representative and the urge to maintain this representative is heightened in places like DC. I know I have my Sasha but even Sasha keeps it real... she is actually about as real as it gets, lol!
ReplyDeleteVery nice post. I was just talking about this with friends. I agree with Neal & Rich that you should be honest however EVERYONE has a representative. My rep is not dishonest but she keeps her guard up and doesn't show her "hand". That's the way it should be. SOME men(& women)have reps that are very dishonest and far from a reflection of them. Another thing is that people nowadays have reps for YEARS. You don't know who is who. Who's married, single, gay, etc.
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ReplyDeleteI'm not gonna write this in WORD first so forgive any future errors lol
ReplyDeleteWhat's the 'other' person called? When we get past the representative.. is that person called 'the real you'???? I hope not, b/c MY representative is actually the real ME also... it's just the top layer of me that also carries all of the positives about me. That 'me' will be misleading if you fail to understand that there is more to a person than that which we learn in the first 6 months. But it has NOTHING to do with honesty. Only 'lying' and 'honesty' have anything to do with honestly... and me lying to be impressive is a false representative... I understand how they are related tho.
I'd NEVER have a rap song about booty... but I damm sure wanna hear one when partying. I'm gonna tell my wife to bring that phat booty over here so I can smack it. I still have that on my list of first 10 things to notice about a young lady. I also mentor, pay tithes, love my mama, cook, and own a home. I'm a DUDE.. and that part wont change... doing things behind closed doors is the difference... Cuz Common could have been a horrible boyfriend... and Lil Wayne just refused to commit cuz he knew he would be a bad one... (hope that makes sense)
I understand that most folks I know who would be aspiring rappers at 29 dont have a good handle on the other part of their lives.. this guy seemed to tho.
Who's better? The stripper? The person sitting that the stripper dances for? Or the guy who made the song so the stripper could dance for the person sitting?
Because dating is serious.. and connected to marriage.. I'm ALL for NOT dating someone b/c they dont cough the way you want them to. Your life.. .. the thing is .. we have to accept all consequences.
And I was honestly more surprised that you were still OK with a 29 year old working on a bachelors degree... Young black 'professionals' are title hungry.