This guy - a dude I had connected with online - caught my attention because he could put together three complete sentences and post pictures which were cute without looking constipated. This is super rare in online dating. So I had decided to keep him around because he was generous with compliments via text message, and the one late night voicemail he left sounded...sane.
Still I wasn't sure if the guy was who he said he was...because for all intents and purposes he could be single, tall, muscular and 26 (like he said)
OR
he could be a 45-year old married male with nympho tendencies (who took great pictures and had excellent grammar).
Sadly, I was crazed enough to find out and arranged to meet up with him at a U Street bar wearing a mini-skirt and a mase bottle strapped to my belt loop.
Mr. 20 (or Score), showed up a few minutes after me and walked in looking like the Old Spice Guy...confident, handsome, and two seconds away from diving off a mini waterfall, landing on a horse, and smiling with a deodorant stick in his hand. I was impressed - kinda!
We did the awkward church hug embrace and I lightly kissed his cheek with my ruby red lip gloss and sat down ready for dialogue!
"How are you Mr. Score? How was your week?" I smiled sweetly as I sipped my mojito.
And...that, ladies and gentleman, was all he needed.
For 45 minutes I was beat in the head with nouns, accosted by a slew of verbs, slammed over and over again with unnecessary adjectives, and jumped by a gang of adverbs as Mr. Score subjected me to a monologue all about himself. Nineteen questions, people! He asked himself nineteen straight questions, then proceeded to answer all of them in the voice of his alter ego...Mr Score 2.0 as I sat there waiting desperately on the edge of my seat for a slightest...hint...of...an....inhale! Or an intermission!
Then, thankfully, the 20th question was asked to the person I least expected...
Me!
"Bree," he said. "That is your name, right? Are you ready for dinner?"
I thanked Jesus for modern day miracles and then quickly asked him to forgive me as...
I told Score I had eaten. Even though I hadn't.
I told Score I was tired. Even though I wasn't.
I told Score I had to go home. But, c'mon now, son! It was a Friday...night....and 80 degrees outside!
So, I faked a cough, told him "no" and tried not to plow down the one-day-over-16-and-happy-I-got-my-first-job greeter during my escape!
On the long walk to my car, I tried to convince my grumbling stomach that a free meal wasn't worth listening to the verbal version of the Autobiography of Mr. Score.
The date made me remember how much dating (in DC) sucked, but it also reminded me that a good date was hard to find! It made me specifically think of A Long Walk, a gentleman with whom conversation was never lacking and a dialogue always flowed.
I had to ask myself, does it take a bad date to appreciate a good one?
I hadn't thought of A Long Walk for a couple of weeks, but now A Long Walk was all I could think about.
So I sent him a text, "I really want to see you tonight!"
I blamed it on the mini-skirt I was wearing, which was dying to get the proper play.
Become a Fan on Facebook - www.tinyurl.com/singleindc
Posts
