On this holiday, I was fighting a small war of my own.
A Long Walk and I had been texting almost daily, and I do mean "just" texting.
I would wake up to a cute little message from him: "GOOD MORNIN' BREE-BREE." Then spend a full 8 hours communicating with him in a series of LOLs, LMBOs, OMGs, and BRBs at work. After quitting time - without fail - Long Walk would text a WADDUP BREE-BREE, in which I would reply later via gchat. This would ultimately lead to another few hours long conversation littered with SMHs, J/Ks and a series of emoticons :-) :-( :-? :-/
No matter how many times I called to hear his voice, and to experience the pleasant enjoyment of actually hearing the sound behind a LOL, he would not answer....
Instead I would get his voicemail...
WTF?
Who did Long Walk think he was, anyway?
A walking version of the Motorola Qwerty Board!
Against my better judgment, I called him and I left a long, acronym free message demanding he call me back, as in (use the phone), as in (channel Alexander Graham Bell), as in (open your God-given mouth) and put away his fingers and talk to me...
Minutes later I received a text....WADDUP BREE BREE!
SMH!
Chat-induced, text-crazed, electronically-challenged bad, bad, bad words exploded out of my mouth...I couldn't understand why A Long Walk preferred to communicate in person or via a computer...
I wondered...
In the age of tweeting, Facebook updates, Myspace pages, Gchat, MSN messenger, BBM Chatting and Texting, had the simple art of verbal communication been lost?
I decided to unwind over a margarita on the rocks at Alero - a local Mexican restaurant in DC - with my girl, Flower Child.
Hundreds of young, inebriated (read: drunk), young professionals had descended into the venue that night, eager to be one of the lucky few to get a free taco or two. Because of the festive spirit and the complimentary food, it's wasn't uncommon to see 250lb. dudes in a Gucci Suits wearing Movado watches, elbowing petite blondes out of the way in order to get a few 4 inch chicken tacos.
Add 1/2 price margaritas...and
Es un Partido! (It was a party)
When I arrived, Flower Child was at the bar chatting it up with several guys, hustling them for a free drink. Flower Child never pays for anything. She greeted me with an air kiss on both cheeks while casually winking at two men that were checking us out.
"What about Baldy (her current love interest)?" I whispered.
"Baldy who?" She shoved me behind her, beckoning the two gentleman to come over.
While she jointly entertained them, I stepped away to get a few tacos (thank God there seemed to be a few left)...and checked my phone...
Long Walk: R U MAD @ ME BREE BREE
To which I replied: Y CAN'T U CALL?
I elbowed a few eager and starved looking young professionals out of the way, and returned to where Flower Child was, having successfully secured 6 tacos on a plate.
It wasn't even 12 seconds before the short, round, dimple-cheeked guy that Flower Child was not cooing to approached. He reminded me of the Pillsbury Doughboy.
We exchanged introductions, before I felt my phone vibrate:
Long Walk: DONT B MAD BREE, U KNO I'M NOT A FONE PERSON. BUT I LIKE U. DONT ACT LIKE WE DONT TLK. WE DO!
Frustrated, I turned my attention back to Pillsbury. He was talking about his long day, how he had worked hard, how he had missed lunch, while casting desperate eyes at my taco plate. I shoved one in my mouth to let him know the plate was still there. My phone vibrated again:
Long Walk: I TLK TO U MORE THAN N E ONE ELSE. DONT BE MAD. WRK WITH ME BREE!
I shoved the phone deeper into my pocket, and looked at Pillsbury. He wasn't that bad looking. He had all his teeth, pretty skin, and hungry-looking little eyes. I decided to push the taco plate between us. Want One? I asked... Pillsbury's little pudgy fingers dived into the plate scooping up two tacos in a single grasp.
Impressive. At least, I thought so? As I watched him attempt a flirtatious smile, with a large amount of lettuce and taco sauce dripping down his cheek, I felt my phone vibrate again...
Long Walk: I TLK 2 U 8HRS @ WORK, 2HRS @ HOME, 1HR B/T WORK & HOME. THATS 11HRS A DAY. I TLK 2 U MORE N E ONE ELSE. LETS COMPROMISE.
So, Long Walk could add whole numbers. I was proud of him, but wasn't convinced.
I told Pillsbury, I would give him another taco, if he gave me advice about my "friend" who was having a texting issue with a guy she kinda liked. I could almost see the the Taco Bell dog materialize out of nowhere barking "Si, Si"...."Yes, Yes." Shoving the plate at him once more, I quickly told my story while he bit, chewed and swallowed. His advice was simple: tell him what I like, and agree to compromise. He said eleven hours was a long time to be talking to one chick each day.
I grabbed my phone and typed: I LIKE THE PHONE. YOU LIKE TO TEXT. LETS COMPROMISE 2NITE. CALL ME!
The phone buzzed back immediately.
It was Long Walk: CALL YOU 2NITE. 9PM.
Victory! I turned around to hug Pillsburry and poke him in his cute, little round stomach. But Doughboy was gone, along with my taco plate!
SMH
I looked over at Flower Child, who being drinkLESS, had resorted to sharing the margarita of the gentleman she was pressed up against, casually taking long, leisurely sips each time he turned around to look for Pillsbury.
It was getting late, closer to 9PM. I wanted to be home to get this call.
My phone buzzed...
A Long Walk: CANT WAIT 2 TALK @ 9 :-) MISS YOU, BREE, BREE! THINKING ABOUT U, 2!
I smiled, totally recognizing the odds had been against me. A Long Walk had been right, he had exhausted all forms of electronic communication to talk to me daily: Facebook, GChat, Text Message, etc. Logically, his argument made sense; there were more non-verbal ways to communicate than verbal. But I knew what I wanted, a man who would appreciate hearing the sound of my voice every day....
Technically, I had won this battle...
But I was still willing to offer a peace treaty...
I texted him back: THX 4 THINKING ABOUT ME, TLK TO U SOON :-)
Posts
texting versus talking on the phone is a recent issue that many people dating in DC are experiencing. i think that the preferences will differ in every dating interaction, and that if the guy is really interested in pursuing the woman he should consider her preferred method (as long as it isn't unreasonable :-)
ReplyDeleteBeing a man (or a person) in a relationship is about adjustments and changes to form a singular entity (yet remaining an individual). I feel like I have been on tour lately telling women to cut back on the IM, FB and especially txt. Men use these objects to give the illusion of constant thought and importance but really its a way to make a woman feel close but really keeping them at bay. A man is simple and can not manage truly talking to multiple women on intense levels at the same time (generally) but with txt, fb and IM a man can maintain surface level conversations all day long and it gives the illusion of time (and usually to multiple women). But in reality a good morning phone call will always out way a GOODMORNING Txt and a Hey just wanted to check on you phone call has more substance than a HEY HRU? txt.
ReplyDeleteI know women who act like they didnt see something coming in a relationship or in the courting process and its because man uses his tool effectively. No man looks forward to long conversations with women especially after the new woman smell has women off (which leaves after the first 5-6 Dates, once he has got some or a month) but a man knows a woman needs to talk and he makes time to listen, care, and if really good remember and effectively use in the future. And as a fan of txting I am not anti some txting. And as a very busy man I love to send s HEY THINKING OF U txt but when I really care a woman get a phone call later to let them know you are really thinking of them and so i can see how they really are. I have days where I have no time but the 5 minuts before i hit the pillow when a man cares he gives a woman 10 minutes even if he only has the 5 and makes them count. Its not about demanding more but rather establishing a standard that will allow a " Real relationship to develop. And women do not fall for the booty txt (the new booty call) that is just sad. What people are missing today is talking til you fall asleep, talking til your face is sweating and phone it hot, talking til you say hold on I got to plug my phone in, talking til you get to the "no you hang up first". There is a small window where these classics and foundations take place and txt and IM and Fb are killing them, sharing emotions and personal parts of yourself over a keyboard just seems sad
the ultimate problem and the point that's missed is that "Bree Bree" sees the interaction with A Long Walk as a "battle"... It's a shame that's her underlying position, and she wonders why she has a problem...
ReplyDeleteGood points, Charles! I agree with you. Men (and women) need to call and be more personable. How many people do you bbm, text, facebook, etc on a daily? Now, how many people to you actually talk to on the phone everyday?
ReplyDelete